yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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