We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
