i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
