Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I need to stop coming to work sober
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
