Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
