wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
