Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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