i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
