Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
