If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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