i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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