you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
