We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
