Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I feel like abortions should bother me more
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
