Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
