I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
