thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
