Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
