I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
