I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
