We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
