yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This is classic penis vs brain.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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