i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize