I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
