I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
