I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize