Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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