Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm both gender and math confused
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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