Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
