I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
