I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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