i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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