So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
