glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
