I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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