Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
