dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
