Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
