Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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