he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Don't make out with my wife yet
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
