ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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