YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
