I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
