You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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