They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
