dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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