I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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