Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
