The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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