i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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