check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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